corrupt

you're corrupt
and you bring corruption to all that you touch

hold, you'll behold
and be holden for all that you've done

spell, cast a spell
cast a spell on the country you run

and risk, you will risk
you will risk all their lives and their souls

and burn, you will burn
you'll burn in hell
you'll burn in hell for your sins

easy like sunday morning

ето какво открих днес:

неделя + меденки + чай (горски кът на биопрограма) + faith no more = нещо сладко разтичащо разтапящо се

когато свършат меденките и музиката обаче, чаят остава блудкав.

do me a favour and stop asking questions

as she walked away
well her shoes were untied
and the eyes were all red
you could see that we'd cried

and I watched and I waited until she was inside,
forcing a smile and waving goodbye

the insane person

is running a private unapproved film which he happens to like better than the current cultural one. if you want him to run the film everyone else is seeing, the solution would be to find ways to prove to him that it would be more valuable to do so, phaedrus thought. otherwise why should he get "better"? he already is better. it's the patterns that constitute "betterness" that are at issue. from an internal point of view, insanity isn't the problem. insanity is the solution.

such a sky

and such a sun
i never knew
and neither did you

and everybody never breathed
quite so many kinds of yes

voilà, ma petite amélie,

vous n'avez pas des os en verre. vous pouvez vous cogner à la vie. si vous laissez passer cette chance, alors avec le temps, c'est votre cœur qui va devenir aussi sec et cassant que mon squelette. alors, allez y, nom d'un chien!

за първи път гледах този филм в дома на киното, за без пари - еврофест нещо си, от третия ред. главата на кристалния човек в малкия телевизор е толкова голяма от големия екран, думите му кънтят право в мозъка и те карат да правиш разни неща, от които дълго си се страхувал.

спомням си, че после вървях пеша до орлов и пратих смс на едно момиче (девойка бяла фея плета следи към нея), а тя ми отговори и бях щастлив. беше студено.

by the light of dawn

a midnight blue
day and night
I've been missing you
I've been thinking about you, baby
almost makes me crazy

come and live with me.

that smile

that's what he remembered most. there it was. lila on the streetcar. lila and the lilacs in the spring. the little suppressed smile. the little half-hidden contempt. and the sadness that nothing he could do or say could ever make her smile at him in any other way.

he remembered once there was a huge cottonwood tree in the night and he stood alone under it and listened and its leaves rattled slightly in the night breeze. it had been a warm night and there was a smell of lilacs in the breeze.

but for now, let me say

without any hope or agenda, just because it's christmas (and at christmas you tell the truth) - to me, you are perfect.

и един ден ние ще се събудим отново

и дори този ден да е след милиони, милиарди години, и дори да се събудим някъде далеч от малката звезда, която помним от предишния си живот, ние няма да знаем това, защото в съня времето е послушно.

и дори да се събудим без телата, с които сме свикнали, аз ще намеря начин да те прегърна.

this is a chemical burn

it will hurt more than you've ever been burned.

you'll have a scar.

something about boats.

he was supposed to say something about boats.
"we came down the canals together from oswego", he said.
"then why didn't I see you there?" Lila said.

you did see me there before, he thought, but now the illumination had disappeared and her voice wasn't the way he had always thought it would be and so now this was just another stranger like all others.

to the untrained eye

ego-climbing and selfless climbing may appear identical. both kinds of climbers place one foot in front of the other. both breathe in and breathe out at the same rate. both stop when tired. both go forward when rested. but what a difference! the ego-climber is like an instrument that’s out of tune. he puts his foot down an instant too soon or too late. he’s likely to miss a beautiful passage of sunlight through the trees. he goes on when the sloppiness of his step shows he’s tired. he rests at odd times. he looks up the trail trying to see what’s ahead even when he knows what’s ahead because he just looked a second ago. he goes too fast or too slow for the conditions and when he talks his talk is forever about somewhere else, something else. he’s here but he’s not here. he rejects the here, is unhappy with it, wants to be farther up the trail but when he gets there will be just as unhappy because then the IT will be “here.” what he is looking for, what he wants, is all around him, but he doesn’t want that because it IS all around him. every step’s an effort both physically and spiritually because he imagines his goal to be external and distant.

it tastes like licorice

the girl said, and put the glass down.
"that's the way with everything."
"yes", said the girl. "everything tastes of licorice. especially all the things you've waited so long for, like absinthe."

you're not going to let me in there

are you? you've got your armour back on. that's that.
- I have no armour left. you've stripped it from me. whatever is left of me... whatever is left of me, whatever I am... I'm yours.

her hair reminds me

of a warm safe place
where as a child I'd hide
and pray for the thunder
and the rain
to quietly pass me by.

I'm alone

can't wait until I feel your
rain
so unreal
can't find another place of your rain

I believe
I still believe in your warm
rain

I'm alone
can't sleep until I feel your rain.

procrastinate now!

don't put it off.

by the time you read this

you'll be older than you remember.

вчера за трети път казах "двайсет и една"

"when do we eat?"

I asked.
"whenever I declare it," she said and she faced me more fully.

so I drew her upon me and found the catch of the buckle which covered the softness of her belly. there was more softness beneath and her hair was green.

upon the couch, I gave her her ballad. her lips replied without words.

she had always looked

he thought, exactly her age which was now twenty-one. he had been very proud of her for that. but tonight she didn't look it. the lines of her cheekbones showed clear as he had never seen them before and she smiled and her face was heartbreaking.

it'll be all right, jerry

no, it won't. he recognized goober's voice and it was important to share the discovery with goober. he had to tell goober to play ball, to play football, to run, to make the team, to sell the chocolates, to sell whatever they wanted you to sell, to do whatever they wanted you to do. he tried to voice the words but there was something wrong with his mouth, his teeth, his face. but he went ahead anyway, telling goober what he needed to know. they tell you to do your thing but they don't mean it. they don't want you to do your thing, not unless it happens to be their thing, too. it's a laugh, goober, a fake. don't disturb the universe, goober, no matter what posters say.

even when I dream of you

the sweetest dream will never do.

what it's like ... to be back?

you see things in life and you'd be surprised what you see. life, your whole life, is changes. you go through changes in your life - one second you've got it made, next second you're down in the dumps. and it goes back and forth throughout your whole life - one second you've got the most beautiful girl in the world, next second you don't even have a girlfriend no more. and it goes back and forth and back and forth, you know? and this is life man, it's changes, this is what you gotta go through throughout your whole lifetime.

never never land.

so kiss me

and smile for me
tell me that you'll wait for me
hold me like you'll never let me go

cause I'm leaving on a jet plane
I don't know when I'll be back again
oh, babe I hate to go.

... а ти ме докосна

и аз разбрах, че имам Тяло.

всъщност истинският момент

е малко преди да вляза, когато я виждам цялата, озарена отвътре. предчувствам я, предвкусвам я, усещам ароматите й. мълча, а сърцето ми е преизпълнено с любов.

yesterday I got so scared

I shivered like a child
yesterday away from you
it froze me deep inside.

sometimes it would stop raining

long enough for the stars to come out... and then it was nice. it was like just before the sun goes to bed down on the bayou. there was always a million sparkles on the water... like that mountain lake. it was so clear, Jenny, it looked like there were two skies one on top of the other. and then in the desert, when the sun comes up, I couldn't tell where heaven stopped and the earth began. it was so beautiful.
- I wish I could've been there with you.
- you were.

put the phone

on your pillow. I wanna listen to you breathe.

forget about it.

последен епитаф

ще изчезна масово
им каза той
ще изчезна масово
им каза
като динозаврите.

this is my way

of saying goodbye
because I can't do it face to face
I'm talking to you but it's too late
from my videotape

no matter what happens now
I won't be afraid
because I know today has been
the most perfect day
I've ever seen.


(на връщане днес видях руж с момичето му, играеше смърт)

чрд, м.

farewell, my lovely

you sleep so cold.
and now I'll love you forever,
my darling, I suppose.

we had everything
and still wanted more.

hold me and cry

just let the tears come out

висенето в посолството е едно от най-унизителните неща, които са ми се случвали някога.

it's amazing

the way myself responds
to the slightest touch you give me
it's so hard for you always
and the place I want to be is inside you

the road of excess

leads to the palace of wisdom.

над месец без пост, извинявам се. междувременно навършихме годинка, честито.

are you watching closely?

I think she's telling the truth. I think we cannot trust her. but I love her. I need her. to open myself to such a relationship, to the dangers of such an affair, I need assurances of fidelity, of love. but how to be sure?

начинът, по който произнасяш името си

и начинът, по който ме караш да се чувствам обикновен, ето тези неща няма да спрат да ме учудват. липсваш ми, а не би трябвало, но нищо.

малко е глупаво да се будя в два и да пиша тук, като ученичка се чувствам.

пие ми се

мълчана вода.
тази вечер, не утре рано.
ти мълчи. аз до теб ще седя.
дъждът ще свърши останалото.

(елена динева е великолепна, жалко, че много малко други неща намерих)

stevie wondered

whether she'd be on it. paranoia hit him. waves of fear shuddered through his body. the stakes were high, the highest ever. he couldn't see her, couldn't even picture her in his mind's eye. then she was almost upon him, different from how he thought of her, more real, even more beautiful. it was the smile, the look of emotion reciprocated. he ran the short distance to her and held her in his arms. they kissed for a long time. when they stopped, the platform was deserted and the train was well on its way to Dundee.

describe it like hemingway.

- well, it tastes like a pear. you don't know what a pear tastes like?
- I don't know what a pear tastes like to you.
- sweet, juicy, soft on your tongue, grainy like a sugary sand that dissolves in your mouth. how's that?
- it's perfect.

нездравословно

закуска в два с шиштаук и картофки с майонеза.

на връщане в автобуса - тъжен старец с кокичета.

wherever you go

I will follow you
cause I was wrong.

и времето е грешно, но мамка му харесва ми и не искам да е зима.

обичам те

плати квартирата.

в събота трябваше да играем hate групи и да измислим hate speеch срещу някого. не можахме. никого не мразим групово, така се оказа, затова тя ни накара да измислим love speech, но ние и това не можахме, а иначе сме креативни хора. нищо не ни е останало вече.

днес десет години от много важна дата. т.е. не знам дали е много важна, но така ми се струва. тогава като че ли за последно имаше какво да ни обединява (омраза.)

на морето жените

са морски дарове

имам творчески планове
да хода по барове.

честита

нова г.

влизам в ес без особено главоболие, но със забележителна жажда и купчина неизпратени есемеси.